"The dog ate my birth certificate."
– Barack Hussein Obama
Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually photograph Obama with his mouth shut.
What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.
Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
It stands between him and the First.
Obama was really disappointed with Men Who Stare at Goats. Being a Muslim, he thought there would be romance.
What's the difference between Obama and a carp?
One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
How do you starve an Obama supporter?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
What's the difference between a large pizza and Obama?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do Vanilla Ice, Eminem and Barack Obama have in common?
They all made careers pretending to be black men.
Obama has ordered GM to come out with a new model called the Pelosi. It's a convertible, but no one wants to see it with the top down.
What's the difference between Simba and Obama?
Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin' African.
If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? ...
What's brown and in your pocket?
Obama's campaign slogan "Yes we can" has become "Yes you will."
Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Oprah were all on a plane when michelle said she could throw out $100 and make 100 people very hapy,Obama trying to be the dominat person said he could throw out $1000 and make 1000 people very happy Oprah trying to show off said she could throw out $1000000 and make 1000000 very happy the piliot over heard there conversation and opened a curtain and looked back and said i can throw all 3 of you out and make half the fucking country happy!